Flip Flopping

I'm starting to really feel like shit.

In her usual sweet but overbearing way, Ness laid into me the other night when we talked about my not getting Robotoon done in time. I've also had Hayden giving me shit as well - OK, he's done three issues in the time it's taken me to not get one done. And so I'm feeling like I've let people down in not getting it finished.

I really wanted it done for this year. And the Con's the best date to release it, because that's your best audience. I had October in mind when I started working on it - Sydney Supanova is usually in or around October. There was a whole big political bullshit thing going on behind the scenes as to why it got pushed forward. So that has screwed me over. But I can't help but be really disappointed, mostly in myself. I had a goal, worked like a dog to try and achieve it, and failed. It's not like I'm never going to get the book finished. I'm going to keep working until it's completed. Maybe I'll just hold it off until next year, and try and get three done at the same time. A double release.

The stupid part is, with the exception of the handful of people around me who know I'm working on it, nobody's expecting this book. I'm working my ass off flat out so the people who didn't buy the first book can not buy the second one? Why?! Why the hell do I feel bad about not delivering something that nobody wants! I'm still planning on having something new for the Con, I'm going to get the book done, and I'm doing this mostly for myself. Why should I fell so fricking guilty!!

I just finished another page. I'm going to bed.