Get me the hell out of here!

So I think my job has me on the fast track towards a complete emotional breakdown. How you doing?

Work has been getting me depressed lately. And not just the usual "I'd rather be at the beach" type of depression. I'm talking about life draining, energy sucking, no motivation, crawl up into a ball depression. And that ain't fun.

The thing that gets me the most is that this job doesn't allow you to have a life. It's a cinema, which runs from 9 to after midnight every day, 365 days a year. It's casual shift work, which means you can work any time. Day, mid, night, Monday through Sunday. I don't have a set roster, or any kind of regular shifts, so I can't ever plan anything without up to a month of notice. And don't talk to me about spontaneous.

Yesterday, Ness did her final presentation for her course. She has one last show to work on, and that's it. She's done. I went to watch the presentation, and it was really good and really fun to watch. After it was done, Ness came up to me and said that one of her class mates was having a party to celebrate. Mid sentence I think she realised what she was about to ask, cause she finished by saying "but you can't come because you're working". She's accepted this. She knows how my life works. I don't think she likes it much, but she takes it. But it upset me. I would have loved to help celebrate my girl's achievement. But no. I had to work. Her dad asked me when I was going to come over for dinner again. I had to honestly answer "I don't know". And I LIKE Ness's family. And to add insult to injury, I get a call from my boss, asking me to start earlier today. They don't even think about how it affects you! We need something here, you show up.

And this is the way it works. I get calls from friends, saying this is going on, or this event is on and can I show up, and I always have to turn them down. I'm sick of it! I took this damn job so I could have a life. I didn't realise would have to revolve around and be consumed by the damn thing.

I'm looking for a new job. I check seek every week, send off a bunch of applications - I've finally made it up to getting call backs. But it's just not moving fast enough. I desperately want to get out of that fucking place and away. Truth be told, if it wasn't for Ness, I'd pack up my shit and move to Wagga, take my chances out there.

Anyway, that'll do for now. I've got to get ready for work!