The Long Hard Goodbye.

I've got this strange affliction that seems to hit with an alarming regularity.

I was a really lonely kid. Never had many friends throughout the last couple years of primary school and all throughout High School. Never really knew why. Maybe I was just an obnoxious little shit. Who can really judge their personality at that age?

After leaving High School and going to college, I started being able to make friends. But I started noticing a nasty trend. Every time I became good friends with someone, they'd leave. No jokes please. I can tell better ones than you.

It was this strange coincidence that my friends would suddenly need to move, or change state, or go inland or whatever. Being paranoid? My best mate from college moved to the Philippines. My friends from Camp are in Perth, England, and the US. The parents of my god children packed up and went to the US. David and Eliza went to England, Chris and Amie went to Wagga, Joy went to England, Mel moved to Melbourne, Glen and Ted are packing up and moving to Mudgee. . . The list goes on.

And now, my best mate Tony is moving up to Gosford.

The worst thing about this is that, thanks to modern technology, you get to see photos of these people and how their lives are going. That's not a bad thing. All of them seem to be thriving, which is what I would hope for them all. But the overwhelming feeling you get is that you're missing out. All these people whose lives are so important to you, and you feel like you don't get to share in their lives. This may sound like selfishness, and maybe it is. But on the flip side, they don't get to share in your life either.

I was trying to think of someone who could come with me to this film festival if my girlfriend didn't want to come. I couldn't think of anybody.

It's a horrible feeling when you feel like you're losing all your friends.