Panic

Having a history of anxiety attacks and too much imagination is not a good combination. You can wind up giving yourself an ulcer.

Also having a history of screwing things up unintentionally doesn't help.

What am I talking about? Last night at work, I did something which, at the time, seemed innocent enough. Unfortunately it snowballed into something major. I'm yet to have to deal with the consequences of that action which may turn out to be relatively minor. But like I said, past history can take your head in some strange directions. So I'm living with a foreboding sense of dread at the moment that I will not be able to shake until everything has hit the fan.

I hate this. It seems to not be in my nature to be able to just exist, under the radar, without getting myself in strife. And I HATE being in trouble. With an absolute passion. Yet, with what seems to be a minimum of effort, I seem to always be in some form of strife. And truth be told, I'm getting a little sick of it.

Ah well. Time will tell. I'll either be still employed this time tomorrow or desperately searching for a new job. I know which one I'm hoping for.