The Long Hard Goodbye.

I've got this strange affliction that seems to hit with an alarming regularity.

I was a really lonely kid. Never had many friends throughout the last couple years of primary school and all throughout High School. Never really knew why. Maybe I was just an obnoxious little shit. Who can really judge their personality at that age?

After leaving High School and going to college, I started being able to make friends. But I started noticing a nasty trend. Every time I became good friends with someone, they'd leave. No jokes please. I can tell better ones than you.

It was this strange coincidence that my friends would suddenly need to move, or change state, or go inland or whatever. Being paranoid? My best mate from college moved to the Philippines. My friends from Camp are in Perth, England, and the US. The parents of my god children packed up and went to the US. David and Eliza went to England, Chris and Amie went to Wagga, Joy went to England, Mel moved to Melbourne, Glen and Ted are packing up and moving to Mudgee. . . The list goes on.

And now, my best mate Tony is moving up to Gosford.

The worst thing about this is that, thanks to modern technology, you get to see photos of these people and how their lives are going. That's not a bad thing. All of them seem to be thriving, which is what I would hope for them all. But the overwhelming feeling you get is that you're missing out. All these people whose lives are so important to you, and you feel like you don't get to share in their lives. This may sound like selfishness, and maybe it is. But on the flip side, they don't get to share in your life either.

I was trying to think of someone who could come with me to this film festival if my girlfriend didn't want to come. I couldn't think of anybody.

It's a horrible feeling when you feel like you're losing all your friends.

Weddings, Weeks off, Film festivals and Ghost of Girlfriends past.

Why are my headings longer than most people's blogs?

Anyway. It seems I moved into my new home just long enough to disappear for a week. I had my first 'holiday' in possibly about 7 or 8 years. It essentially consisted of me jumping in a car and driving for 6 days.

I planned it to so my time off work coincided with my friends Chris and Amie's wedding. Considering that half of the people who read this blog ARE Chris and Amie, this news may be slightly redundant. Tony and I headed up on the Friday before the wedding, and made it in time to pick up my suit and hang out with the happy couple before heading to the Rehearsal. We were delayed by a stop in Gundagai, which why there hasn't been a horror movie set in that town, I don't know. Anyway, from the rehearsal, we went to Chris's best friend and Best man Ben's place for a BBQ. So we could find the place, Chris arranged to ride in my car and direct us. After which, he promptly got into a DIFFERENT car and forgot all about us.

This is why we love Chris. The fact he remembered he was getting married still slightly bewilders me.

On Saturday, we headed out to their place, found out Amie was getting her hair done, so, with my video camera in tow, we headed out. After talking and filming the girls briefly - which I forgot to change the mic input on, so there's no sound - we headed for Ben's place to talk to Chris. Where Tony and I had a blast playing with Steve's Nerf gun collection. The comparison between the Bride's pre-wedding preparation and the Grooms still staggers and amuses me.

Amie entrusted me with picking up the cake and delivering it to the reception room. I don't think bomb disposal crews are as careful moving things as we were. Getting to the reception room early - which looked great - gave me a chance to go over things with the Matre De there as to how to work things, considering I was one of the Groomsmen and also the MC. We sorted it out, I checked the mic, tried a joke with Tony that did NOT work and took off. During the rest of the day, I ran from one place to another, checking in on things, making as many jokes as I could to keep people as relaxed as possible. Hopefully this worked. I enjoyed it, cause it made me feel like I was contributing more than just showing up.

We made it to the park where the wedding was going to be an hour early, as requested. It was warm, but not too bad. The spot Chris and Amie picked was really lovely, right by a small duck pond with a little alcove. We set up the table for the wedding certificate and the flowers and such - wrong, apparently - and waited. Amie was only about 10 minutes late - she's so punctual, I think even honouring this tradition was a little much for her. She looked absolutely beautiful in her dress, with her grandfather walking her down the aisle. The wedding went off without a hitch. Amie got a little choked up a few times while reciting her vows, but it was rather sweet.

Afterwards, we got photos taken and headed into the reception area. We got in, sat down, got fed, talked, laughed and hung out while I became exceedingly freaked out, waiting for my big moment. Being MC. Just before starting, I went and got a beer from the bar, just to get a little dutch courage in me. Usually, I have no problems talking in front of crowds, but as I've said before, Chris and Amie are both really important to me, and I wanted to give them a good show. I started by getting the crowd to sing Happy birthday to Steve, who turned thirty - That's 30! - on the same day as the wedding. I then got into my speech, which I mostly winged, and introduced the other speakers. I made some jokes, told some stories, poured my heart out and people seemed to enjoy themselves and laugh at all the right places. I did find out later, however that I inadvertently mentioned a couple things that Amie wished I hadn't. Which gutted me. The fact that she hadn't enjoyed the whole of my time with the Mic, which was what I truly was hoping for, completely floored me. I'm still a little regretful about it. Although I did love her comment of "I'm going to be mad at you for the next 45 minutes, then I'll forgive you, but I'll NEVER FORGET!"

The rest of the night was great. We danced and drank and generally just had a good night. I had a really good time, except for one little thing. My Ex, who was also a brides maid. I had been extraordinarily mad at her ever since we broke up about 18 or so months ago. I was aware of this, but not quite how much, as this was the first time I'd seen her or had to spend any elongated amount of time with her since. I was trying very hard to be nice, but it was really difficult.

The next day, we all hung out at the house the Richmond crew was renting while they were up there for a BBQ. I'd had enough of how bad I was feeling around Paula, so I straight away went and found her and we had a little chat. No, we had quite a large chat. I poured it all out. How angry I was, how much she had pissed me off, some of the stupid stuff she had pulled when we were together. She had a few things of her own to say, and it all came out as well. We weren't nasty about it, although I did say a few things through clenched teeth. And a really unexpected thing happened. It all went away. All the anger and resentment and hurt and whatever else was churning around inside me just left. We were actually getting along for the rest of the night, which I think everyone else appreciated. One person told me the frostiness between us could snap freeze a charging rhinoceros. I haven't forgiven her completely just yet. But I am forgiving her.

So, we finally left on the Monday, after getting Chris and Amie home safely and headed for Thurrioul, which is just north of Wollongong. I just wanted some time away from the world for a while, and there was a beach there. Ness came up and met up with us, and we had a good time. We spent one day at the Buddhist temple on the other side of Wollongong, which is freaking huge!

While we were in Thurrioul though, we got a call from Tony's new lady love, asking about our entries in a film festival. Long story short - which I'm sure you're hoping for by now - I'm shortlisted. My film The Lot is being screened. I'm going to post some details up here later.

Came home, was knackered, cleaned up my house, went to sleep.

The end.

I'm home.

For some reason I couldn't get to sleep last night, and now I can't stay asleep. I've only had four hours crash time.

On the upside though, last night was my first night in my new place.

I am so happy to be here. It took me two days to move in. Longer than I thought. Isn't it always the way? Went and picked up the keys Thursday morning I had Vanessa's help for Thursday. There is nothing than can charge up the guilty metre like watching your girlfriend carrying heavy boxes up and down a driveway in the rain. I'll have to find a way to make it up to her. I stayed at mum and dad's on Thursday, so I could get an early start Friday morning. Packed the last of my stuff into the truck, filled my car with boxes and was away. Around 7.30 last night, I moved the last box inside. About 2.30 in the morning, I had the place set up enough I could go to bed.

I've got a lot of washing up to do, because a lot of stuff has just been sitting in boxes for - literally - years, still a lot of unpacking and sorting and I really need a better Internet connection (Unwired Sucks!!) but, in spite of all that, I am really happy here.

Finally.

I took some photos, but the cable's still packed. Somewhere.

Moving day and the Flix

So I FINALLY get to move into my new house tomorrow.

God, it's been a long three weeks. I've felt so stuck in Limbo. But, all over now. Tomorrow morning, I wake up here. Tomorrow night, I go to sleep there. I'll worry about the semantics later.

On the flip side, I sent off my two entries for the Short Sighted film festival yesterday. Since it's the 13th festival, they're having a horror competition this year. Tony sent off his Black Sparrow film last Friday. I don't know how they got that finished so quickly. I sent off The Lot and the narrowly completed Horrorflix. Lucy gave me the music a couple days ago, I did all the sound and mixing in the last two days and burned the movie to DVD yesterday. Had a little bit of a nightmare when we tried to get the Money orders for the entry fees. but it all worked out in the end.

I'm uploading it to You Tube as we speak, but it's taking forever. I'll post it up here when it's done.

You can take your Gylenhall. . .

My friend Amie keeps bragging that she is facebook friends with Jake Gyllenhal. I don't think I spelled his name right, but that's just something I'll learn to live with.

Well, I upped it. I'm friends with Rob Schrab.

Who the fuck is Rob Schrab? He's the twisted Genius behind 'Scud the Disposable Assassin', 'Monster House' and 'The Sarah Silverman Show' among other things.

Nothing?

Not surprised. I think he's pretty cool though.

Scenes from a cinema

So recently, since it's been so stinking hot, I have been getting out of the house early and disappearing to cooler climates. This has included places like my car - when the A/C has had the chance to work it's magic - shopping centers and arriving at work early. One good thing about working in a cinema is that if you arrive early, you just go hang in a cinema for an hour and watch part of a movie.

Now, the whole reason I wen for the job at the cinema in the first place - apart from being desperate for a job - is that I'm a movie buff. But not just for the films themselves. I love the whole cinematic experience. I remember very fondly the local cinema in Penrith - the Hayden, I think it was - would have movies for $6 before 6 every Sunday. And I was there every Sunday. I'd get my huge cup of Pepsi and a packet of cheese Twisties, wander in, pick my best spot and wait. Eventually, the lights would go dim, the slides would come up, you'd get to see a few trailers and then it would go dark and the show would begin. I always used to get a little tingle of excitement whenever the opening logo would appear on screen, knowing I was about to be taken away from the world for a couple of hours.

The stupid part is, that now that I work at the movies, I never actually GO to the movies anymore. Work is a bit of a hike for me, and the last thing I want to do on my day off is go back to my place of employment. And going in early, even to see a film is . . ., well, how often do you want to show up early for work? And because I'm usually on the night shift, seeing things after work is out. We used to be able to play the movies for ourselves after work, but that got the kibosh put on it a while back. Also, the fact that I don't need to pay for movies at work, it seems stupid to go somewhere else and pay money. So, my opportunities to see movies are few and far between.

So, the last few days, when I've been able to sit in a cinema, not in uniform, not with a two way pressed to my ear in case someone calls me, has brought back all those memories of Sunday afternoons at the local multiplex. And like most good things, you don't realise how much you miss them until you get to experience it all over again. I remembering why I fell in love with the movies in the first place, and it's been melancholy but sweet.

ONe week to go

I move in next Thursday.

God, these three weeks are going slow!!!